Decals

So, I don't know how to blog, and I'm not really sure if I want to... but I was thinking about life and what not and doing other stuff that "hipsters" do (Apparently now I'm a hipster... sure. Why not?) and I had this sort of like epiphany (I guess that's what you could call it) and it was too long for twitter and I only really use facebook for jokes and pictures and I didn't want my written epiphany to feel out of place. (Just in case I wasn't using enough parentheses, I just want to point out in this one that, that first sentence is the longest run-on sentence I've ever seen. It's obvious that I got a 1360 on my SAT. And yes, that's really what I got and yes I'm going to take it again.) So I decided to be cool and artsy/i-dont-know, and share my "epiphany" in a blog.

In case you didn't already figure out, I don't know words. I'm not good at them. I'm not good at grammar. So, if you've made it this far in my nifty blog about life, then you can suck up your OCD and continue reading my poorly written blog and enjoy it.

Anywho.

Hey.

I'm Karly. I live in College Station, TX. I'm not an Aggie. My parents are. I haven't applied to college yet. Most importantly, I'm a sinner. I'm far from perfect. But, my Savior is perfect.

I felt the need to introduce myself in that past little...(I'm not sure what to call that list/mini paragraph) because I'm not popular and people don't know who I am. So there's a little peak into who I am.

Epiphany Time

About a week or two ago I was on the phone with my friend, Megan (Megabunz), on my way to Dallas and I cut off a person on the highway. Now recently I purchased a window decal for my car, representing the Kamp I go to (no I didn't spell Kamp wrong), Kanakuk. If you don't know anything about it, Kanakuk Kamps is a Christian athletics Kamp in Missouri for kids 7-18 to go and have fun, meet new friends and, the kamp's main goal to "Developing dynamic Christian leaders through life-changing experiences, Godly relationships and spiritual training". (Go. http://kanakuk.com/ ) So, while driving around with Kanakuk Kamps on my back window of my car, I began to watch the way I drove more. I tried my hardest not to floor it when I drove past someone that was going slow, tailgate cars or cut them off. I didn't want to look like an aggressive driver (even though I really am) because I didn't want people on the road to think badly of Kanakuk because of my lack of temper-control behind the wheel. When I cut off that driver in Dallas, I thought about if he had seen the decal on my window, and asked Megan if she felt the need to drive perfectly while representing Kamp as well. The answer was obviously yes (because we are both teenage girls who overthink things and stress about things that don't need to be stressed over) and we then, somehow, got on to the topic of how Kanakuk used to be where we found our identity. 

I thought more about this conversation when I arrived back at home. Up until the summer of 2012, Kanakuk was where I found my identity. It was who I was. I would carry around my 6yr kamper backpack with pride along with my Kanakuk t-shirts and jewelry through the halls of my school and told myself that because I went to Kanakuk, that I was perfect and everyone wanted to be me. Yes. I know. I was a cocky little diva. I hate my past self too. Don't judge me because of it. I'm different now, promise. After the summer of 2012, however, after the most life changing summer of my life, after finally seeing the light and realizing how much of a sinner I am and how much in need of our Lord and Savior I am, I started to find my identity in Christ and Christ alone.

So, I know who I am. I'm Karly Anne Stavinoha. I'm the daughter of a king. I'm constantly being forgiven. I'm constantly trying to be more like Christ. 

Pause.

Go back.

"Trying" 

During that summer of 2012, I attended a session called "Mentoring 101" held by president of Kanakuk Kamps, Joe White. In that session I heard something that I'm positive will stick with me the rest of my life. Joe held a marker out to a girl sitting across from him and told her to "try" and take it out of his hand. So, obeying Joe White, the girl reached forward to grab the marker. "No." Joe told her "Try. Don't commit to it." This happened for about a minute, the girl reaching for the marker and Joe telling her each time to only "try", and not to "commit". Finally he told her to commit to taking the marker and she did. He then explained that when you "try" in your relationship with Christ, you get no where. Committing in your relationship with Christ, though, shows you're really doing it. You're really going to live your life for Him and only for Him. And if you're living you life for Him, it's going to show. People are going to notice. Just like people notice the Kanakuk decal on my car. 

It kind of hit me. I had been so worried about people getting the wrong impression of Kamp, when what I should be worried about is not the way I drive, but the way I act. I wasn't watching the way I was acting when I would let a few curse words slip about my speech teacher. I wasn't watching the way I was acting when I would gossip about a student I didn't like. I had been driving along in life "cutting people off" and "tail-gating" them with a decal of Christ on the back of me.