You can be mean, or nice, you choose.

“If someone isn't what others want them to be, the others become angry. Everyone seems to have a clear idea of how other people should lead their lives, but none about his or her own.” 

- Paulo Coelho, The Alchemist

I've learned so much while here at Link Year. I've learned about the history of the Bible. About other religions. Learned how to make a Christ Centered Life Plan. Even how to answer questions that seem to attack Christianity. 

Another one of the things I've learned while here, is something that I've really always known, but never wanted to admit was real. That being:

People are mean

No matter where you go, no matter who you are with, there's always going to be mean people.

Now, I'm not saying that Link Year is full of awful, mean, angry people. But I kind of am, because like Romans 3:10 says "As it is written: "There is no one righteous, not even one;" (NIV). None of us are good people. However, just because we aren't good people, doesn't mean that we can't be nice people. That's something I think that this world as a whole needs to understand more, and me, I need to understand it more too.


Having a class of just 57 students, you can imagine that drama forms along with cliques and attitudes. People start being sassy (not the cute, fun, I'm-your-friend sassy.), they talk about people behind their backs, they make fun of other people, it's not fun. Lately, I've been seeing in my fellow classmates, but also in myself as well, Satan convincing us that people are only worth liking if they match what we want them to be. If they talk too much, they're annoying. If they talk too little, they're awkward. If you don't like what they say, you respond with anger and defensiveness. It's honestly creating such a divide between the students here, and I don't think some of them care. That's whats scares me. 


In my own opinion, I think we all need to stop thinking about what is wrong with other people and why we don't like them, and start thinking about why God loves them and how we can see it too. Again, I'm not saying that I'm nice to everyone, I have many times rolled my eyes at someones comments, talked badly about someone behind their back etc. Recently after I would say something or act rudely, I've started to realize just how unnecessary and stupid I'm being. Is me not liking how they act going to change them? I really hope not! God created them perfectly, no matter who it is. By saying we don't like someone or how they act or how they dress whatever it is, we are directly saying to God that He did a crappy job at making them and He needs to do better in the future. How awful does that sound?


I really wish that this wasn't a problem in our society. But sadly it is and there's really nothing we can do about it. Satan is the ruler of this world and he's having a blast turning people against each other and ruining relationships for stupid reasons. The worst thing that happens, is when people automatically assume something about someone they have exchanged 2 sentences with. Basically, judging a book by it's cover. I've learned that here. Someone is a completely different person when you get deep and understand them and what they have been through in their life. It's really fascinating. Finding out how they grew up and certain things that they have been through, makes you realize why they act certain ways. One of my favorite quotes about people comes from a guy named Dave Berry, he says:

“There's nothing wrong with enjoying looking at the surface of the ocean itself, except that when you finally see what goes on underwater,you realize that you've been missing the whole point of the ocean. Staying on the surface all the time is like going to the circus and staring at the outside of the tent.” 

Did you get that? If not please re-read it. When I first read that, I felt so convicted. I had been staring at the surface of people, looking into the reflection of myself and seeing the difference between us and finding different reasons why I didn't like them. I've gotten underwater with some people here, and because of that, my entire first impression has changed because of that. Because I understood them. It's like I'm starting to get the whole point of them. 

Sadly, there's always going to be conflict here on earth. There's always going to be people we don't like. The cool thing about that, though, is that Jesus didn't have our attitude towards people when he died on the cross for us. He didn't just die for the people who he liked 24/7. I can bet that when Judas turned Jesus in, I bet Jesus wasn't the biggest fan of Judas, I doubt he liked him that much in that moment, BUT, He still loved him. As Christians, aren't we all trying to be more and more like Christ each day? Isn't that in most of yall's daily prayer or something? I know I've heard it countless times "I pray you make us more like you each day.".  I hear people say that all the time. Well, if you want to be more like Christ, try loving everyone, along with countless other things too, but this is what my blog is about so this is my main point. So love people like Christ loved us. Or really try to at least, start trying to catch yourself when you know you're being rude to someone, or you're talking bad about someone or making fun of them. ESPECIALLY if you don't know them. 

Also. If you live in Branson and didn't know that the Panda Express is open by Target, now you do. Go, eat, live. 

~Link Life~

[I surprised my brother at home for his 8th birthday. I want to take a nap right now so I don't want to figure out how to download a facebook video to get on this thing so here's the link if you really want to see it.]

 https://www.facebook.com/video.php?v=944401358908183&set=vb.100000149845155&type=2&theater

I said goodbye to a great car this weekend.

And hello to another great car.

My small group is still so cute.

And so is my new tattoo sleeve. No, it's not real, but I wear it like it is.

Link Year Learning

 ~ I'm pretty tired of sweetening things up and making everything honky dory (is that a real phrase), so this blog is going to be raw. It's going to be real. It's what I'm actually learning and what is actually happening in my life and walk with Christ. ~

This past week and a half at Link has been filled with many emotions and thoughts and feelings. The good, the bad and the confusing. I mean, it's not like it really caught me by surprise too much. I knew that feelings would happen while being at Link and I knew that God would work on things in my heart. Link is a great place where we get deep into life and the Bible. So I knew coming into this program that I was going to have to face some stuff that I had hidden inside and didn't want to really face. Well, that happened. And it's been tough. I don't typically like to admit that I have feelings and that things are wrong. Recently I've had to admit it though, that stuff is happening that I'm not okay with and that is keeping me from having the relationship with God that I want. The good part about learning about feelings and what not, is that by confronting them and learning how to deal with them, I've been able to be honest with myself, God and others for the first time in a while.

So. I'm depressed. That's a thing. And it's a thing that has happened for a while, I'd say since sophomore year. Up until recently it's been minor and has just been hiding out inside me and didn't cause too much damage, but was almost always there. I don't know what has caused it to escalate, but it has. And it's annoying and weird and I don't like it. It's not Link Year. Link Year hasn't caused it to escalate what-so-ever. I've actually never been happier since being here. I am so thankful that I have the opportunity to be apart of this program and learn the things that I am learning here. I've made awesome new friendships and I'm meeting the coolest people ever. I've honestly never been happier, but I've also never been sadder. So that's the confusing part. I don't understand how I can feel like this in a place that shows so much love and support. It's weird.

One of the biggest things I've learned is something that I finally realized and made my self listen to yesterday. It was a few things. One of them being our fantastic and fearless leader, Brian Wang, who is speaking to us this week about: The Act of Following Christ in a World That Pulls You Down. In all honesty, Brian has been my favorite speaker since the beginning of Link. I haven't been bored during his lessons, I've actually taken notes that I can look back on, and the stuff he is saying is true and coming from the heart. In the midst of him explaining self-denial and what it looks like to take up the cross daily like it says in Luke 9:23, he said something that really hit me. I mean, it's not a new idea, I've heard it a lot.

"You screw-ups, get over yourself. Christ is so much more than you can ever imagine. Nothing can push Christ away from you. He knew what he was buying when he sent his son on the cross. So get over yourself." -Bwang

Like, it's so true though. There are many factors as to why I have become depressed, but one of them is definitely me remembering my past/current mistakes and how stupid I was to make them. Constantly thinking of that not only makes me extremely selfish by only thinking of myself, but also says that I don't think the cross was enough. Ya know? Not only that, but after class yesterday I thought a lot about me and also just anyone who thinks that they're not good enough for Christ. I don't remember exactly what it was he said, but one of our past speakers, BJ Thompson touched on this a little. He talked about how people think that God doesn't really love them unconditionally, that we constantly try to do works to get Him to love us. He asked us what our reaction would be to our future children if we realized they thought that we would only love them if they continually worked for it. I would be heart-broken. To even think that my kids thought that I didn't love them? I would ask myself what I was doing wrong, was I not being a good enough parent? Like, immediately after coming to that conclusion, I shut-up. God has done so much for us, like, He came down from Heaven, where he was in a super tight throne, ruling over all, and chilled in a smelly, cold manger with animals. He was ridiculed, beaten, and crucified for a bunch of lousy, un-thankful brats, but  did it because He loved us. And like Brian said, He knew what he was dying for. He knew that I was going to get drunk. He knew that I was going to smoke weed. He knew that I was going to have unhealthy relationships with boys. And despite knowing all that I've done, all that I'm doing and all that I'm going to do, He said I love her and she's worth it. Then, after all that, I have the nerve to say that I'm not good enough, that He doesn't want me. Like, holy crap y'all. How could I think like that. How could I say that God doesn't love me? After everything that He did, is doing and that I know He is going to do? Like, how dare I?

I can't stop being a sinner. That part of me is not going to go away until I am with God in Heaven living the ultimate life (talk about a MTV Cribs episode). However, I can stop saying I'm not good enough for Him. Because saying that is saying His sacrifice wasn't good enough for me. I can continue building my relationship with Him. I can continually study His word. He can love me and I can love Him. I don't deserve it, yeah, none of us do. The only thing we actually, really, truly deserve is Hell.(Romans 6:23) Heaven is a gift that we don't deserve. Every day we live here on earth, every blessing and yes, even every trial, is a gift and better than we deserve. But that's the cool thing about God, He loves us so much, He's going to give us the coolest present ever. Eternal life with Him. 

So that's what I've been learning this week. I'm also learning how to better handle my money, which if you know anything about me, it is something that is very much needed. 

~Link Life~

 

This is Koda, Joe White's dog. If someone can explain this to me.....

We visited Kaite and work and Mack killed me 4 times in pool. So.

"It's okay to not be okay." -Donyes

We had a movie night with the squad. Chase wanted popcorn.

These are my best friends that I have made. We do fun things.

We matched one time.