Relationships vs. Titles

In the good ole' days of 7th grade, middle hair parts and limited too styles, I was obsessed with the Jonas Brothers. My favorite and most prized obsessions out of the three boys in the group, was Nick Jonas. I spent many hours reading magazines, watching interviews and taking quizes online to make sure I knew everything I could about Mr. Nicholas Jerry Jonas, born on September 16, 1992 in Dallas, Texas. As you can tell, much of that information is still stuck into my mind to this day. His face covered every inch of my walls and I would celebrate his birthday more then I would my own when it would come up.

I know. This is all very creepy. I'm sorry.
I was this way until about the middle of my Sophomore year of High School when I finally realized how creepy it was to obsess over this boy who had no idea who I was and never would. We didn't have a relationship. I was fortunate enough, though, to be able to meet him twice, but he doesn't remember me, he doesn't know my name, we do not have a relationship.

 But I do know most everything about him and what's he's done. I still follow his career (just not as close anymore). And, when asked, I'll say I love him because there is still some of Karly Jonas Stavinoha hidden deep inside of me.

Now, let's take a bit of that information above and look at it from a different angle.

 In the good ole' days of 10th grade, rebellious actions and "stoner" styles, I was obsessed with drugs, drinks and misbehaving. After being saved during the summer of Sophomore year, I spent many hours reading the bible, listening to sermon podcast's and checking with kamp counselors to make sure I knew everything I could about our Lord and Savior, Jesus Christ, born from Mary and Joseph (but actually just Mary) in a manger on a cold night.

I do know most everything about Him and what He's done. I still follow his teachings (every now and then, sometimes it just doesn't seem worth it). And, when asked, I'll say I love Him, but sometimes won't show it.

Now, am I saying that Nick Jonas was once my Jesus?.... well, he was an idol, so I guess you could say that, but that's not the point of this blog. Actually, the point of this blog is to explain to you why I dislike the term "Christian" but also why I've recently started to dislike the term "Follower of Christ".

Personally, I feel as if the church has been completely brainwashed into thinking getting into Heaven is easier than it really is. "As long as we go to church on Christmas and Easter, we got it in, no worries." "As long as I don't do any 'serious' sins like murder or meth, I'll be fine." "As long as I attend every church event and show everyone how grateful I am to help out, I'm a shoe in." That's not all it takes though. Showing up to church, singing a few songs, then going back to life as if it never happened. That doesn't cut it.

"He went on his way through the towns and villages, teaching and journeying toward Jerusalem. And someone said to him,"Lord, will those who are saved be few?" and he said to them, "Strive to enter through the narrow door. For many, I tell you, will seek to enter and will not be able. when once the master of the house has risen and shut the door, and you begin to stand outside and to knock at the door, saying, 'Lord, open to us,' then he will answer you, 'I do not know where you come from.' Then you will begin to say, 'We ate and drank in our presence, and you taught in our streets.' But he will say 'I tell you, I do not know where you come from. Depart from me, all you workers of evil."

Luke 13: 22-27 (NIV)

I imagined myself in this situation. I went up, knocked on the door of heaven and asked to come in. God said he didn't know me. I didn't have a relationship with him. I couldn't go to heaven. 

Imagine how awful it would be, to be at the gates of heaven and then for God to tell you that He didn't know you. You might have known everyone in the church, but you didn't know Him. You might have known all about Him, but you didn't have a personal relationship with Him. 

Your relationship with Christ is either getting better or worse. It's never idle. 

Recently I got an Xbox 360 and it's taken up a huge chunk of my time and brain. Along with the mind sucking black box of violence, I've been very busy with work and life. I "haven't had time" (had different priorities) to read my bible much or pray. It's not too hard to guess whether or not my relationship was getting better or worse with Christ. Unless I was sharing the gospel over Xbox live while playing Call of Duty (which actually could be pretty interesting.) and talking the Jesus while breading the chicken and buttering the buns at Chick-Fil-A (which I wasn't).

Anyway, I kinda got a little off topic. It's whatever, I do that, at least I'm still talking about Jesus. But what I was getting at, is that people will say that they're a "Christian" and base that statement souly on the fact that they believe there is a God. They don't follow Him but when asked about it, yes they are "Christian".
Recently, it seems like anyone who has gone to a Christian camp, has a pair of chacos and doesn't make, by the worlds standards, "horrible" life decisions, is a Follower of Christ. I'm sorry if that's a harsh statement, but it's just what I've seen. I'm really just over titles in general. Instead, can't we just start asking 'do you's instead of 'are you's?
Like: Do you have a relationship with Christ? Do you know if you're going to heaven or not?
Not: Are you a Christian? Are you apart of this church?

This is really choppy and poorly written. Probably because I'm writing this at 1:30 in the morning and I'm tired and my brain is half off. But I wanted to share this. So here we are. And here are some pics.

Ayeee, this is a very lucky shot of a 2am convo with my kamp consular about Jesus and why I should believe and follow Him. That's me in the top bunk bed in the left corner. Shout-out to @megabunz for ruining that little moment after she broke Sal-pals camera.

Homosexuality.

I've been seeing countless shared links and comments about Duck Dynasty and Phil's response to homosexuality. In seeing all of these, I've been thinking about the issue and what made it such a big deal.
We hear it all the time, Christians are judgmental and hypocrites.
Yes. We are.
By we, though, I mean everybody. The world, everyone it it. Not just Christians. I mean think about it, millions of people are judging Phil right now because of the things that he said when voicing his opinion on homosexuality. But let's all ignore that part and just stick to the fact that Phil doesn't agree with homosexuality and suspend him from the show and throw hate at him. K?

Did Phil said he was going to try everything in his power to stop homosexuality because it's awful and the people doing it are going to ruin society and go to hell? No. His exact words were 

 "...However, I would never treat anyone with disrespect just because they are different from me. We are all created by the Almighty and like Him, I love all of humanity. We would all be better off if we loved God and loved each other."

He didn't say he would judge them, he said he would love them.

I think as Christians, most of us have focused mainly on making sure the world sees us as nonjudgmental and open-minded, then focusing on what we actually believe as Christians. I, personally, do not condone homosexuality and gay marriage. That is just a personal opinion. Now, when you look at it in the Bible, the Bible also does not condone it. However, the Bible also does not condone lying, cheating, stealing, murder, etc. In our world, we have created a sin scale, we line every sin up shoulder to shoulder and rate it on how bad it is. That is not the case with God. God sees our sin as.... well... lets say Oreos. The world looks at our sins as stacks of Oreos. Some higher than others because of sins we've committed. God, looks at the stacks of Oreos from up above. He sees them as just one Oreo each. No person better than another. 

"Or do you not know that the unrighteous shall not inherit the kingdom of God? Do not be deceived; neither fornicators, nor idolaters, nor adulterers, nor effeminate nor homosexuals, nor thieves, nor the covetous nor drunkards, nor revilers, nor swindlers, shall inherit the kingdom of God." 

1 Corinthians 6:9-10

Well dang. Those are a lot of people that aren't gonna inherit the kingdom of God. Right? Everyone focuses on those two verses when disagreeing with homosexuality. However, what about the verse right after it? 

"And such were some of you; but you were washed but you were sanctified, but you were justified in the name of the Lord Jesus Christ, and in the Spirit of our God."

1 Corinthians 6:11'

God didn't die on the cross for only a few sinners. He died on the cross for EVERY sinner and EVERY sin. It irritates me so much when I hear Christians defend themselves by saying homosexuals are going to hell. YOU DON'T KNOW THAT! Where they go does not depend on your opinion of that. If homosexuality is a sin like every other, then it is a sin that can be forgiven. They do, however, need to realize that it is a sin, they need to repent, they need to trust in God that He will satisfy them. 

"It's not a choice. I was born gay."

I hear that saying a lot too. And, it's partially right. We are all born sinners. Now, if you're still reading this and you are homosexual, then don't get angry at me saying it's a sin...... cause it is.

I was born a gossiper, rebellious little brat that ended up doing drugs. Me doing drugs and gossiping and all the other sins I've dealt with and am still dealing with are all a choice though. I choose to gossip. I chose to do drugs. Now I'm choosing to follow Christ and say no to past sins. 

If you're gay. Yes, you were born with it. You were born with a nature to sin and being gay is a temptation that you so happen to have. That doesn't mean you have to say yes to it. 

Gay Marriage

Personally, and don't burn my house down for saying this, I do not think Gay marriage should be allowed in Churches. I know I've said in the blog many times that homosexuality is a sin like any other, and I still stick to that, but marriage is a different topic. Marriage is commitment. Commitment to a sin.

I guess the point of making this blog post was just to voice my opinion on this subject.

Do I think homosexuality is wrong?: Yes. Every sin is wrong. However, everyone is a sinner so I am not going to judge a group of people that participate in a specific sin. 

Do I think many Christians have incorrect view points and handle this topic wrong: Yes.

Will homosexuals make it to heaven if their Christians?: Yes and No. If you are a true follower of Christ and homosexual, then you will repent of the sin and run to Christ. If you believe in God, believe that he made you, believe that he died on the cross for your sins but continue to live in them without asking for forgiveness and not turning away from it, I'm not sure. I don't like saying that someone is going to Hell. That's not my job to decide who does. 

I have many friends who are homosexual, and I hope that if you read this you will respect my views and beliefs.

Forgiveness

Things I don't understand:

• How it can rain when the sun is out
• The Human Body
• Scremo
•  The limited amount of concentration my brain is able to hold
• God's Grace and Mercy

Like ever single other person on this earth, I'm a sinner. I've messed up countless of times in basically every area that you can mess up in. The amazing part of me messing up though, is that no matter what I do, no matter how many times I do it, if I ask for forgiveness, God gives it.

I've gone down some tough roads in my few 18 years of living. From boys to drugs, it's been real interesting. Tonight, while talking to one of my past Kamp konsulars, I was reminded of the amount of forgiveness that God has given me just in this past year. This isn't a long blog. It's not going to have some creative metaphor. It's simply me just sharing how gracious and loving our God is, and some of the experience I've had with it.

I'm not going to get into every major thing that's happened in my life, because that could take the rest of the night to do, but I am going to dip into a one major one. .


Drugs: Sophomore year of High school. Boy. Those were.... interesting times. I can honestly say I've never been more lost in my entire life, then that year. I began smoking weed, partying every weekend having "fun", you know, the typical angst teen let-me-life-my-life type of kid. During that year, you could definitely say I became a "pot-head"along with throwing in there that I was a potential alcoholic (bringing drinks into work and taking shots before school). During this time, there was a while where I denied my faith and belief in God. After attending Kanakuk Kamps for a month, I had a complete change in attitude, life choices and began living, for the first time, a life that was committed to God.
Before i made that commitment, I had no hope for myself. I planned on leaving the gates of that Kamp and going back to smoking 5 times a day. I didn't want Jesus in my life, and I made that pretty clear. Thankfully, He didn't give up on me. And amazingly, He forgave me for everything I did, said and am still going to do in the future.
Ephesians 1:7 says "In him we have redemption through his blood, the forgiveness of our trespasses, according to the riches of his grace"
Like. What? Let's look at that word redemption. What is it? From the Greek word, άπολύτρωσις , apolutrōsis meaning: to let go free for a ransom. Let go: from sin. Ransom: His life.
You hear it a lot in Sunday school but have you ever taken the time to just listen to it and let it sink in?

Jesus Christ, son of the King, came down from heaven and died for you.

Like. What? I can't.

Jesus was chillin up there on a throne and said hey. I want those guys down there to be with me. So, he came down from the coolest place ever, and landed in a manger in a barn surrounded my animals and probably smelled like poo. He lived as a man (which is worse for him than if we were turned into cockroaches one day) and then was ridiculed, outcast ed and killed, so he could chill with us. Us. Us sinners. Us entitled, disobeying, undeserving children. The fact that there is someone who loves me that much, amazes me each day. 

If you're reading this and you haven't experienced God or are not walking with Him. I highly encourage it. Don't say "your sins are too big for Him to forgive" because they aren't. Saying your sins are too big is saying that Him dying on the cross wasn't good enough. Don't say "you sin too much, he can't forgive you" because that's wrong. Everyone sins. No one is perfect. He knew you were going to sin in the past and He knows your going to sin in the future. How?.... He's God. He knows. The point of the cross was so you could be forgiven then, now and forever. 

Also.... This was longer than I thought it would be. Sorry for lying about it being short.

Decals

So, I don't know how to blog, and I'm not really sure if I want to... but I was thinking about life and what not and doing other stuff that "hipsters" do (Apparently now I'm a hipster... sure. Why not?) and I had this sort of like epiphany (I guess that's what you could call it) and it was too long for twitter and I only really use facebook for jokes and pictures and I didn't want my written epiphany to feel out of place. (Just in case I wasn't using enough parentheses, I just want to point out in this one that, that first sentence is the longest run-on sentence I've ever seen. It's obvious that I got a 1360 on my SAT. And yes, that's really what I got and yes I'm going to take it again.) So I decided to be cool and artsy/i-dont-know, and share my "epiphany" in a blog.

In case you didn't already figure out, I don't know words. I'm not good at them. I'm not good at grammar. So, if you've made it this far in my nifty blog about life, then you can suck up your OCD and continue reading my poorly written blog and enjoy it.

Anywho.

Hey.

I'm Karly. I live in College Station, TX. I'm not an Aggie. My parents are. I haven't applied to college yet. Most importantly, I'm a sinner. I'm far from perfect. But, my Savior is perfect.

I felt the need to introduce myself in that past little...(I'm not sure what to call that list/mini paragraph) because I'm not popular and people don't know who I am. So there's a little peak into who I am.

Epiphany Time

About a week or two ago I was on the phone with my friend, Megan (Megabunz), on my way to Dallas and I cut off a person on the highway. Now recently I purchased a window decal for my car, representing the Kamp I go to (no I didn't spell Kamp wrong), Kanakuk. If you don't know anything about it, Kanakuk Kamps is a Christian athletics Kamp in Missouri for kids 7-18 to go and have fun, meet new friends and, the kamp's main goal to "Developing dynamic Christian leaders through life-changing experiences, Godly relationships and spiritual training". (Go. http://kanakuk.com/ ) So, while driving around with Kanakuk Kamps on my back window of my car, I began to watch the way I drove more. I tried my hardest not to floor it when I drove past someone that was going slow, tailgate cars or cut them off. I didn't want to look like an aggressive driver (even though I really am) because I didn't want people on the road to think badly of Kanakuk because of my lack of temper-control behind the wheel. When I cut off that driver in Dallas, I thought about if he had seen the decal on my window, and asked Megan if she felt the need to drive perfectly while representing Kamp as well. The answer was obviously yes (because we are both teenage girls who overthink things and stress about things that don't need to be stressed over) and we then, somehow, got on to the topic of how Kanakuk used to be where we found our identity. 

I thought more about this conversation when I arrived back at home. Up until the summer of 2012, Kanakuk was where I found my identity. It was who I was. I would carry around my 6yr kamper backpack with pride along with my Kanakuk t-shirts and jewelry through the halls of my school and told myself that because I went to Kanakuk, that I was perfect and everyone wanted to be me. Yes. I know. I was a cocky little diva. I hate my past self too. Don't judge me because of it. I'm different now, promise. After the summer of 2012, however, after the most life changing summer of my life, after finally seeing the light and realizing how much of a sinner I am and how much in need of our Lord and Savior I am, I started to find my identity in Christ and Christ alone.

So, I know who I am. I'm Karly Anne Stavinoha. I'm the daughter of a king. I'm constantly being forgiven. I'm constantly trying to be more like Christ. 

Pause.

Go back.

"Trying" 

During that summer of 2012, I attended a session called "Mentoring 101" held by president of Kanakuk Kamps, Joe White. In that session I heard something that I'm positive will stick with me the rest of my life. Joe held a marker out to a girl sitting across from him and told her to "try" and take it out of his hand. So, obeying Joe White, the girl reached forward to grab the marker. "No." Joe told her "Try. Don't commit to it." This happened for about a minute, the girl reaching for the marker and Joe telling her each time to only "try", and not to "commit". Finally he told her to commit to taking the marker and she did. He then explained that when you "try" in your relationship with Christ, you get no where. Committing in your relationship with Christ, though, shows you're really doing it. You're really going to live your life for Him and only for Him. And if you're living you life for Him, it's going to show. People are going to notice. Just like people notice the Kanakuk decal on my car. 

It kind of hit me. I had been so worried about people getting the wrong impression of Kamp, when what I should be worried about is not the way I drive, but the way I act. I wasn't watching the way I was acting when I would let a few curse words slip about my speech teacher. I wasn't watching the way I was acting when I would gossip about a student I didn't like. I had been driving along in life "cutting people off" and "tail-gating" them with a decal of Christ on the back of me.