Tuesday, July 24, 2018

Don't be sucky, be there.

Wow. Haven’t written anything on this blog in years. How’s it hanging, y’all.

Well, let’s just get straight to the point before I decide against writing this, shut my computer and watch The Office for the rest of the night.

Mental Illness'

The thing that everyone says they support and stand up for, but rarely ever do. And I know what some of y'all are thinking, and yes, I did wright this because of Demi Lovato's recent hospitalization. Why? Because her situation and struggles hit deep, real deep. So in honor of her always being open and honest about her mental health and addiction, I thought I would finally share mine. So here we go.

I can't tell you exactly where it all started because, to be honest, most of high school is a blurry mess. But one day I came back from a psychiatrist with drugs and a Depression label and I just rolled with it from there. One medication led to the next and I was spiraling in a manic depression that led me to do psychotic things that a new psychiatrist would later label as Bi-Polar II. During this time I had seen multiple doctors and been put on multiple different medications and been labeled having multiple different mental illness. However, the last one that was given to me during my time in Texas, was Bi-Polar II, so I left for college with medications and a new found fondness of "Silver Linings Playbook". 

Once I was in college, that's when stuff turned from mild depression into, moderate depression. Now, granted, during this time I had been through a rough break up, so some would call this "situational depression". Situational or not, this was the first time I remember having suicidal thoughts. I was attending a Biblical Worldview Gap Year program in Branson, Missouri at the time, and I was constantly surrounded by friends and loving mentors. Despite having all these tools around me, I was breaking. I wouldn't leave my bed for days at a time, I would say I was sick to avoid going to class and being around people and if I ever was around people, I would only physically be there and would never engage in conversations or even eye contact. Eventually, things got better. I made new friends (because the old ones hated being around me)got a job, graduated the gap year program, got a promotion at my job and had an apartment and was living life on my own for the first time.

For one whole month.

Things got bad again, this time, however, life was going great. I didn't know why I was sad all the time, all I knew was that I was and I had lost another friend because I couldn't figure my life out. One night I got a bunch of drinks, turned on Harry Potter and kept drinking until I woke up to my accountability partner and old roommate standing over my bed telling me I had to make a decision. I didn't know what decision I had to make, but I knew I didn't want to feel like I did at the time, so I got up. That night they drove me to Mercy Hospital in Springfield, Missouri where I then spent 5 1/2 days at Mercy's Psychiatric ward. Now, if you've never been to a Physch ward, 1.) Congrats, you're already doing better than me 2.) The most popular thing to talk about (besides what movie ABC Family is playing that night) is why you're in there. And for each person that asked me, I never once had a solid answer. Just like high school, the days leading up to the physc ward were a blur. So, at this point, my whole life just felt like a blur. I hated myself and was never happy, but I also had been drinking a hell of a lot and was perfectly fine with drinking myself to death that night. So was I there because I was an alcoholic? Or was I there because I wanted to kill myself? The honest answer was because I wanted to kill myself and I had untreated mental illnesses that needed to be addressed, but I liked the sound of "Alcoholic" better because it seemed like less drama. So, after my time at the physc ward, I spent a lovely 6 weeks in College Station, Texas where I did outpatient rehabilitation and went to AA 2 times a week.

Since my time in rehab I have come to realize that I am not an alcoholic, but that I do have really sucky coping skills and impulse control, which can all lead back to the Bi-Polar diagnoses. Despite not being an alcoholic, I will say that the weeks in rehab have shaped me into a different person and have indeed helped with life and taught me how to better cope with issues. It still did not cure me of anything, though. 

Alright, after rehab I got a dog (Harley, she's da bomb) went back to Branson, kept my job that I had at the time and continued living life like nothing had happened. Got another curve ball, best friend bailed on my because she didn't want to deal with everything that I had to(this is friend #3 also btdubs, mental illnesses and friends just don't mesh well), so I quit my job and got a new one and moved to Springfield all in about a month and a half (and all without drinking or smoking or doing anything that someone with sucky coping skills would do, I might add). Now, we're not going to talk to much about my Springfield days, but we'll skim through. Got my dream job as a Kitchen Director, got another dog, made some really really dope friends and ,this time, I had a house. I really thought I had it all, I thought this was me thriving. Let me tell ya, I have never been more unhappy, emotionally stressed, emotionally abused or physically stressed in my entire life then when I worked in Springfield. I started drinking almost every day, smoking almost every night and constantly belittling myself and others because that's how my boss ran his store. After a year, I finally made it out and moved to good ole' Joplin, MO. 

Now, I would love to say that now that I'm in an outstanding work environment and surrounded by people who care about each other, that I'm 100% happy and living life again. But that is still not true. Depression has hit this year harder than any other year. I had been off medication for 2 years and self medicating with anything I could find. Only after getting involved with hard drugs and a co-worker telling my boss, did I finally get help. 3 different doctors have changed their minds, but my one I'm using now is saying Major Treatment-Resistant Depression and Major Anxiety. We're sticking with these two labels because for the first time since being diagnosed anything, the medication is actually working. It took multiple different trials on multiple different medications, one resulting in me swallowing a bottle before throwing my hand down my throat, but I'm happy again. Some days are still rough and it's noticeable, but it's one day every month or so compared to the almost year span where I felt like it was never going to get better. 

Watching Demi's documentary made me cry and feel so much for her, because that can been me and one day. Hearing the news of her in the hospital after an OD made me cry because that could be me one day. Reading that many of her close friends left her because of her illness made me cry because that was me and still is me. If you have a friend or know someone with a Mental Illness or Addiction, reach out to them, let them know that you're there for them, and actually be there for them. You never know how much your friendship means to someone who thinks so little of themselves that they think the world would be better without them. And you don't know how much it will hurt them when you leave after saying you'll always be there.

Mental Illness' suck. Addiction suck. Everything sucks. But you can help make it suck less. 

Don't be sucky, be there.

Thursday, April 16, 2015

Are You Saved?

There have been more than a few times where I'm super down from a mistake I made or something along those lines, and I'll ask myself "Am I really even saved?" I'm pretty confident in saying that others have had the same thing happen.

Being saved is a concept that comes up quite a bit. Whether or not your saved, whether or not you can lose your salvation etc. And I was thinking about it a bit the other day. My mind was digging into predestination topics (I'm not gonna talk about that rn, that's a long conversation for later) and whether or not I'm even predestined and you get the point of where I'm going with this.

Most of the times I think about these things, I'm directed to Romans 10:9-10 which says

9 because, if you confess with your mouth that Jesus is Lord and believe in your heart that God raised him from the dead, you will be saved. 10 For with the heart one believes and is justified, and with the mouth one confesses and is saved.

The Holy Bible: English Standard Version. (2001). (Ro 10:9–10). Wheaton: Standard Bible Society.

Just believe it and confess it and you're good. Because when you truly believe that Jesus is Lord and believe it in your heart, than you can't help but marvel in His greatness and want to obey Him. 

It's the want part though that gets me. Because I do want to obey Him, but sometimes I don't. And I know that's on me, that it's me not listening to the gospel when I think that because I messed up I'm not saved. Because saying that would mean that everyone who messes up isn't saved, and saving the mess-ups is what Jesus came down here to do and did. 

So when I think about these things there just becomes this whirlpool of questions and possibilities and it wasn't until I was thinking a little bit today until I realized something. 

Why am I caring so much about whether or not I'm saved?

Why does everyone focus on that?!? About whether or not it can be taken away (which it can't), about whether or not you are? Cause you want to know if you're going to Heaven or not. Right? 
Cause you want to know if you're going to Heaven or not.

I don't know about you guys, but that mindset doesn't seem about God at all. It seems on you. Now, when you worry about just going to Heaven, you're turning your worship and your studies and your serving into a work based believe that is based all around you.

I don't want to get into Heaven because of a label of being saved. I don't want to enter into those gates with the mindset of "wow, sure glad I dodged the hell bullet. Whew, glad I'm saved. Now I'm gonna go chill." and I wont. 

Adam Donyes says an awesome thing:
"If you don't enjoy worshiping Jesus now on earth, what makes you think you're going to like heaven?" (that's probably not the exact wording but you get the point)

So I know that I'm going to enter into those gates super stinking pumped to worship God in the best way I ever have in the eternity of ever. My mindset is going to be completely on Him. Everyone will be completely about Him. Cause it's heaven...

I don't know if any of this really made since, it really jumped around a lot. But let me leave you with this. 

If you're struggling with the concept of being saved and wondering if you are or not, ask yourself this:

If I found out today that I wasn't saved, would it change how much I love the Lord?
If I found out today that I'm not "predestined", would that change how I live my life?

Would you buy a ticket to a show that you knew you couldn't get into? 

If your love and worship is based on what you can get in eternity, and what you want isn't to spend eternity worshiping Christ, then I hate to break it to you, but you're probably not going to get it.
 
I think we need to stop worrying about salvation and start putting the main focus back onto God, then salvation will follow.
 


Sunday, March 29, 2015

What Is Love?

This is a popular statement in today's culture.
You see it all over social media. The main thing we hear about love is when it's paired with equality.
I'm sure a majority of you have all seen the video going around called "Love Has No Label" if you haven't then please watch it below

 
 I like this video. I like it a lot. There are, of course, some parts of it that I don't agree with looking at it from a biblical worldview, but it speaks a great message. 

Love Has No Boundaries

Stick with me here. I've been getting into Love a lot these past few weeks and I strongly encourage everyone to do it as well. 

Now, when I ask "What Is Love" I don't mean "love" in the dictionary sense. 
Dictionary.com defines love as... 

    1.  A profoundly tender, passionate affection for another person
    2. A feeling of warm personal attachment or deep affection, as for a parent, child or friend
    3. Sexual passion or desire
    4. To have a strong liking for; take great pleasure in
What I've been looking for specifically, is the act of love. When you're talking about a close friend and you say "I love them" or when you're talking about a hard friend, maybe a non-believer and others say to you "Don't force anything, just love on them.".

This past week at Link we had a man named Brady White come and talk to us about Sexual Brokenness.  While talking about this topic, the topic of loving on unbelievers came up a bit. And almost always the response was to "love them". Like everyone else I nodded in agreement, but then a few minutes later I thought about something. Do we even know what love is?

"Just love on 'em"
"Just be their friend and show them how much you love them."
"Well, just make sure they know you love them."

But how do we define that?!!? Like, guys, I've been getting so fired up about this these few weeks. How do you define love, without using the word love? I've been searching for a definition that would make sense, teach me how to truly love someone, and help me figure out the meaning of a extremely strong word. Join me in discovering what I found.



Responses from friends to the question
"How would you define Love without using the word Love?"

  1. "Putting the needs of another before yourself"
  2. "Patience, kindness [not envious, boastful, proud, rude, self-seeking, or easily angered], rejoicing in truth, protective, hopeful, trusting, perseverance." 
  3. "The action of self sacrifice exhibited towards others, not on the basis or merit condition, but freely given in order to glorify and honor God."
  4. "Self- giving, self sacrificial, caring for needs above your own. Not a feeling, an action, a decision you make. It can happen and sometimes more powerfully when you don't feel it."

Definitions found from different books
  • Baker Encyclopedia of the Bible
    • First and last word in Christian theology & ethics. It is therfore important to understand clearly this exceedingly ambiguous term. 
  • Dictionary of Bible Themes
    • A caring commitment, in which affection and delight are shown to others, which is grounded in the nature of God himself. 
  • Holman illustrated Bible dictionary
    • Unselfish, loyal, and benevolent intention and commitment toward another

I love these. One that I particularly love the most is what it says in the last quote."Not a feeling, an action, a decision you make." That's so true. We hear constantly from the world that love is an emotion. That love is a feeling towards someone. IT'S NOT!!! It's an action! Guys, if love was an emotion or feeling do you know how screwed we would be? Cause I'm pretty sure Jesus' emotions weren't all giddy and happy while he was dying on the cross for us. In fact, if you go to Luke 22: 39-46 it shows you how he really didn't feel like dying on the cross for us. Go to Verse 42 and it says this:

"saying, "Father, if you are willing, remove this cup from me. Nevertheless, not my will but yours, be done." (NIV) Luke 22:42
  
When he asked God to remove the cup from him, what he was asking was if he could remove the future suffering that was soon going to take place. He asked God to not make it a thing anymore. He didn't want to suffer the most painful and slow death. He wasn't feeling like being tortured and mocked and killed. BUT HE DID IT! Why? What's the only reason. He LOVES us. There is no other reason. Here's a verse that some would call cliché, but I feel that calling any part of Gods word "cliché" is simply insulting. Gods word is living word and is NEVER "cliché".

"For God so loved the world, that he gave his only Son, that whoever believes in him should not perish but have eternal life." John 3:16 (NIV)

Guys, this isn't cliché. This is the gospel. This is love. God loved us so much. US!! The dirty, rotten sinners who can't even obey 10 simple rules (the 10 commandments). He LOVES us so much that he sent his ONLY begotten Son to DIE for us so that we could spend eternity with Him! We do not deserve this y'all. We deserve the worst parts of Hell. But because He loves us, because He wants us, He sent Jesus, the only perfect person, to die for all that we have done, are doing and are going to do. 

I have been looking for a good definetion of the word love, but there's only one thing that really explains it. 

God

We see this in 1 John: 

"Beloved, let us love one another, for love is from God, and whoever loves has been born of God and knows God. Anyone who does not love does not know God, because God is love. In this the love of God was made manifest among us, that God sent his only Son into the world, so that we might live through him. In this love, not that we have loved God but that he loved us and sent his Son to be the propitiation for our sins." 1 John 4: 7-11

That's all I got. Here's another video and some pics that I liked:








 



Thursday, March 19, 2015

Prodigal Son

T11 And he said, “There was a man who had two sons. 12 And the younger of them said to his father, ‘Father, give me the share of property that is coming to me.’ And he divided his property between them. 13 Not many days later, the younger son gathered all he had and took a journey into a far country, and there he squandered his property in reckless living. 14 And when he had spent everything, a severe famine arose in that country, and he began to be in need. 15 So he went and hired himself out to one of the citizens of that country, who sent him into his fields to feed pigs. 16 And he was longing to be fed with the pods that the pigs ate, and no one gave him anything. 
17 “But when he came to himself, he said, ‘How many of my father’s hired servants have more than enough bread, but I perish here with hunger! 18 I will arise and go to my father, and I will say to him, “Father, I have sinned against heaven and before you. 19 I am no longer worthy to be called your son. Treat me as one of your hired servants.” ’ 20 And he arose and came to his father. But while he was still a long way off, his father saw him and felt compassion, and ran and embraced him and kissed him. 21 And the son said to him, ‘Father, I have sinned against heaven and before you. I am no longer worthy to be called your son.’ 22 But the father said to his servants, ‘Bring quickly the best robe, and put it on him, and put a ring on his hand, and shoes on his feet. 23 And bring the fattened calf and kill it, and let us eat and celebrate. 24 For this my son was dead, and is alive again; he was lost, and is found.’ And they began to celebrate. 
25 “Now his older son was in the field, and as he came and drew near to the house, he heard music and dancing. 26 And he called one of the servants and asked what these things meant. 27 And he said to him, ‘Your brother has come, and your father has killed the fattened calf, because he has received him back safe and sound.’ 28 But he was angry and refused to go in. His father came out and entreated him, 29 but he answered his father, ‘Look, these many years I have served you, and I never disobeyed your command, yet you never gave me a young goat, that I might celebrate with my friends. 30 But when this son of yours came, who has devoured your property with prostitutes, you killed the fattened calf for him!’ 31 And he said to him, ‘Son, you are always with me, and all that is mine is yours. 32 It was fitting to celebrate and be glad, for this your brother was dead, and is alive; he was lost, and is found.’ ” 

Wow. I've read this parable countless times and it never looses its kick. Like, after everything that the son did to his dad. By asking for his inheritance early he was basically telling him "yo, I don't care if you're alive or dead. Either way, I want your money right now.✌️" then he took his money and bounced and spent it on all this stuff he didn't need maybe on some drinks and whatnot and then ended up taking car of pigs. And it wasn't a common thing to take care of pigs..... Actually I still don't think it's a common thing to take care of pigs. But anyway, he's working on probably the job that has the lowest amount of respect and is working with animals that are considered the filthiest and he's starving and just not having a fun time. So this life that he went and sought out and expected to be full of riches and fun and glory, ended up being the complete opposite.

I see that in sin in our lives. Personally, I used to be a huge fan of partying. I went and sought out all of it. Drinking, drugs, boys, the typical. Shows and movies and people made it seem like this great life with no worries so I was like, shot, I wanna be apart of this. It's not though. Like wow. It's lonely and depressing and the only thing you can really be happy about is if you wake up the next day without a hangover or you don't end up getting pregnant or you don't get caught for smoking weed. Like, those aren't goals that I want in my life. And I am so stinking happy that God has changed my heart towards desiring those things.

Anyway, this kid realizes the mess that he's in and thinks "well, my dad feeds his servants meals. I know he's not going to take me back as his son because of everything I've done, but maybe, just maybe he'll let me work for him. So he packs up his bags (but honestly he probably didn't have anything because he was working for pigs) and he headed back home.

This is the cool part of the story though. So he's walking back, and he's still a little bit aways from his house, but he can see it. And his dad, I picture, is sitting on the porch of the house, probably praying to God that his son would come back, and he looks up and he sees his son walking towards the house. And this is the important part right here. The son probably expected the dad to be angry, probably expected the dad to  tell him to leave and never come back, I'm sure there were multiple scenarios playing in the sons mind. What does the dad do though? He runs toward his son. He jumps over the porch and full on sprints towards his son. Sprints. In this time it was HIGHLY looked down on for a man to run. It was thought of to be childish and intended only for children. But did he care? NO!! He was so stinking pumped that his son was back. All he cared about was loving his son. He didn't ask what he did with the money. He didn't ask why he came back. He didn't say he was dissipointed or angry. He said welcome back and then threw a HUGE party in celebration. 

And that's an example of an earthly fathers response. Imagine the excitement and joy and just like. Wow. You can't. You can't imagine what heaven is going to be like and I find that so crazy. But just like, think about what it could be like when you stand at the gates of heaven and not only you, but all your fellow believers get to go in and spend eternity with God. When you finally get to go to your real home. All the sins you committed, they aren't going to matter to God. He's already forgiven them anyway if you've asked for forgiveness. The only thing that's going to matter is Him. And just think about the excitement and joy and love that will be radiating from Him when he sees all his children who believed and followed and loved Him are going to be all together, with Him, for eternity. That. That is going to be one heck of a party..

Thursday, March 12, 2015

Where Is Your Plane Going?

Well guys, we're back and kicking it over here at Link Year. This week we had an incredible speaker, David Marvin, from Watermark church in Dallas, come and speak to us. David talked to us about a lot of different things. Tuesday he talked to us about whether or not the Bible can be trusted and why we should believe it. Wednesday we talked about Science vs. Christianity and touched on the Big Bang Theory and Evolution (personally my favorite topics). And Today we touched on if Christianity really was the only way and if Christianity mattered. I want to share with yall a little about what I learned from today's lesson and something that David said that really stuck out to me.

First though, I want to share a story.

A few months ago my friend Miklyla and I flew down to Texas to see a concert. Miklyla is from Arkansas and I go to school in Missouri so we obviously took two separate planes. Anyway, we made it to Waco and saw some of our favorite bands play and it was really a great weekend. We hit up some Torchy's Tacos and had some coffee at Common Grounds then both went to the airport Sunday afternoon around 6ish to head on our way back to our homes. It was Miklyla's boyfriends 20th birthday the next day and she had so much planned out for it. I really don't think I've ever seen anyone so excited. Thankfully both of our plane gates were right next to each other, so we sat for a while and talked and watched some netflix. My flight left at 8 and her's left at 7:40. We were stupid and had our headphones in watching some Greys Anatomy and both were not looking at the time because it was the season finale of season 8 and if you watch Greys Anatomy then you know what I'm talking about. Anyway, we heard it at the last second, they were calling for the last passengers for Miklyla's plane and shutting the gate. As you can imagine, she flipped out. We crammed her computer in her bag and she ran as fast as she could towards her plane. As she was running towards the gate, I realized something, she was running towards the wrong one. I looked down at my watch, it was still just 7:10, her plane wasn't even here yet. The gate she was running towards would take her to San Diego, California. I'm assuming it was the flight attendants first day or something, because she was so panicked by Miklyla's running that she didn't even stop to look at her ticket, she just opened the gate and let her in. Like, what the heck? Who hires these people? I freaked and yelled her name across the airport just in time before the lady closed the door again.
"Miklyla!" she stopped and turned around looking pretty rushed and scared she wasn't going to make it for her boyfriends birthday.
"I'll miss ya! Have a great trip!" I told her. I didn't want to tell her she was getting on the wrong plane, that would make her stressed, it might be awkward, I don't know.  She smiled and waved and made her way onto the airport to California, not Arkansas.

Is that bad? Is that unloving that I did that? Well no. Because that's not actually a real story. But if it was? Would it be loving to yell at her and tell her she's on the wrong one? Or wait for her to figure it out when she got to California, far away from Arkansas? That's an example that Marvin gave today during class.

Everyone. Everyone. Is going to live forever somewhere. Either Heaven or Hell. If you see someone getting on the wrong plane, tell them. Love them enough to tell them. Or, if they're not a believer, love them enough to tell them how to get there. Yeah, sometimes those conversations can be awkward, they might ruin a friendship, they might make you look like an idiot even. But what if they don't know the Gospel? What if they've never heard it? They're getting on a plane right now that's going to lead them to some place they never expected. The least. The very least you can do is love them enough to tell them.

Wednesday, March 4, 2015

Why Did You Choose To Follow Jesus?

I've been asked that question a few times by one of my mentors. Each time I'm asked I ask for some time to think about it because words scare me and when I'm asked something on the spot I panic because I need time to process what the question is really about. That question to me is a lot. It's not just one question. It's multiple.

1.) Why did you first choose to follow Jesus?
2.) Why are you now continually choosing to follow Jesus?
3.) What does it look like in your daily walk?
4.) Would it be easier to not follow Jesus?
5.) What makes you choose Him over the world?

Now you can understand why I panic when people ask me questions like this. Because after the first one, 4 other usually follow and I have to find an answer to all of them. When I first said "Okay, I know this isn't a one time thing, I want to follow and do everything I can for Jesus." I was 16 years old in a bunk bed at summer camp. I wanted to be a better person for my little brother, I wanted to have this happiness that I saw in everyone around me and the life I was previously living sucked and made me depressed and not a happy person. Which I guess those are two of the same things, but you know what I mean. These months here at Link have been for sure life transforming. I know for a fact that when I leave these gates that I will leave a different person. Because of everything I've learned here, I now have new answers to the questions above then I would have 3 years ago.

1.) Why did you first choose to follow Jesus?
        Because I wanted to be a better person and I wanted to have the happiness that everyone else had
2.) Why are you now continually choosing to follow Jesus?
       Because I have realized how much in need I am of a savior because I continually sin and am a mess. I want to follow Jesus because He has shown me how much He loves me by dying on the cross for me and has shown me life with and without him and the incredible difference between the two.
3.) What does it look like in your daily walk?
      Constantly reading his word and meditating on what it says. Being in prayer daily and continuing to work on my relationship with Him.
4.) Would it be easier to not follow Him?
      I've lived life both following and not following Him. In the moment, not following Him might seem easier. You don't feel convicted about drinking, smoking hitting it up with boys. You don't have any daily commitment, you just do you and hope it doesn't get you killed. But that's such an awful way to live. No assurance of what's to happen when you die, nothing to live for but yourself. And come on, Hangovers are horrific. Living life for Jesus might be hard at first glance but it gives you such happiness and joy that it doesn't seem as hard as it would be to live a life only for yourself.
5.)  What makes you choose Him over the world?
     Kind of the same as the answer above. Because I know the joy that comes from following Jesus and giving your life to Him. I don't always choose Him over the world. Sometimes I choose the world over God. But what does that do? It always ends in turmoil. It always ends with me on my knees feeling so stupid for falling back into the trap of sin. But, He always forgives and loves us no matter what we do. And I think that's so cool.

 And so do the following people who I asked the same questions to. I decided last night that I was going to text believers in my phone and ask them the same questions. What I didn't know was how amazing reading every story and every thought would be. Reading different life stories and praises of Jesus all night and continuing into the morning was such a great experience. It would be selfish if I didn't share it.

:WARNING:
Some answers are long. Some are short. Some get real. For privacy I am not putting names, just answers. Maybe you don't read all of the answers, maybe you only read some. Maybe you space them out through out the week (because there are a lot of people) either way,  I hope you get as much from them as I did. 
There are also typos because we are all imperfect and I didn't want to go through and fix every typo. 

Friend #1
Q: Why did you choose to follow Jesus?
A: "Because I saw all that he had sacrificed for me and realized that I couldn't live a life full of complete joy and hope without him. I saw that I couldn't do it on my own and only by accepting his perfectly gracious gift could I live a life in pursuit of his. I knew that he sacrificed his entire life so that I could have one and knew he defeated death and wanted to follow a man that had that complete power and allow him to lead my life rather than trying to lead myself to destruction. The flesh is weak but the spirit is strong."
Q: Have you ever wondered if it would be easier to not? What makes you choose Him over the world?
A: "It's really easy to wonder that. It's hard being a Christian. Having to set aside extra time to a guy who may or may not be listening. Not being able to indulge in fleshly desires because you know it is dishonoring to him. Being persecuted for being different than others. But it is so worth it. Feeling refreshed and renewed every time that you open his word. Having this overwhelming peace that he is in control and you owe him nothing because he already sacrificed him son. Being able to face the world's trials knowing that there is more greater things to come. It is worth all the hard work and the persecution"

Friend #2
Q: Why did you choose to follow Jesus?
A: "Well in the beginning it was more of my parents influence on me. But growing up in church then later around the kamp environment I just learned to love Jesus in my own way not in the eyes of my parents. Like of course I'll mess up in life but I'll always have Jesus and I know he'll never leave me."
Q: Why do you continue to follow Him and what does that look like?
A: "Because he is consistent in your life no matter what you go through. And by daily pursuing Him through reading my bible and doing a daily devotional "

Friend # 3
Q: Why did you choose to follow Jesus?
A: "It's more like why do I choose to follow Jesus on a daily basis. Basically because I stink and I am going to keep on stinking, but Jesus doesn't stink and has never stunk. In fact, that perfect love of Christ covers my filth and makes me righteous and redeemed. Without Christ, I wouldn't be able to be anywhere near God's presence because of my sin and shame. So I follow Christ because he has given me the freedom to find peace in God."
Q: Wouldn't it be easier to not? What makes you choose Him over the world?
A: "It would for sure be easier to choose anything else other than Christ. Jesus promises that the gate is NARROW and the way is going to be HARD and those who find it will be FEW. But the thing is that the "it" that we'll find is eternal. And knowing that, the fact that we get to spend ETERNITY without crying or pain or suffering anymore, ETERNITY in communion with God... even the prospect of that makes everything worth it. Ultimately it's a choice between the easy route here on earth with eternity apart from Christ, or a hard path here momentarily plus forever with God. When it's put in an eternal perspective, the choice is simple, although the practice of following Christ on a daily basis is much easier said than done"

Friend # 4
Q: Why did you choose to follow Jesus?
A: "Because I knew that when my life was chaotic, if I had Jesus then things started to make more sense and I felt calm. and I can't describe it, but I always KNEW without question that that's what I wanted"
Q: Why do you continually follow Him? And what does it look like?
A: Because He has never come up short, he's always constant and my only constant, and by constantly relating my life back to Him and how o can better myself in Him through my weaknesses
Q: Wouldn't t be easier to not? What makes you chose Him over the world?
A: Not necessarily, because there's freedom in following Him and endless grace and forgiveness for when I feel like I'm not worth it

I've seen people who follow and live for things in the world and their lives are so empty and confusing and they're constantly let down by depending on themselves

Friend # 5
Q: Why did you choose to follow Jesus?
A: I remember being little and feeling like heavy a lot. Like there was something big on me or in me that worried me and I always messed up and didn't know what to do. So I talked to my mom about it and she said that was the sun in my life and told me about Jesus dying for me like I'd heard before but that time it made sense. I felt good admitting that I messed up (if that makes sense) and I remember praying that and feeling instant relief, like I was gonna be okay. No more weight. And ever since, it's been the joy. Nothing compares to knowing it's all gonna be okay no matter how truly crappy life gets
Q: Why do you still follow Him?
A: The feeling sticks. No matter how much I sometimes doubt or even try to logic myself out I've seen how God works. He's present and he changes people more than philosophy or mantras or morals. True followers of him are way different than the world in the best way and there's a love that beats and other type of love. He wins, period. And it's humbling I get to be path of his big victory. He's real when a lot of other things aren't or when things fail

Friend # 6
Q: Why did you choose to follow Jesus?
A: Because I tried to live my life without him for awhile, trying to find happiness in stuff that would give me happiness for a few hours and then go away and leave me more empty then I was before.
Then one day I felt the love of God through the scripture and my life changed. I wanted to give my life to God because he made me feel loved and like I had worth.
Q: Why do you continually follow Him? What does it look like?
A: I continually follow Jesus because I can honestly say he continually love and pursue me. Everyday I wake up and I read the word of God and I can feel the scriptures come to life inside of me and I can just feel the Holy Spirit working in me. When I get that feeling I just want to live everyday for him. 
Q: Wouldn't it be easier not to? What makes you choose Him over the world?
A: It is much easier to choose to live for the world. But for me it's not about what's easier, it's about God. The way I see it if your a true believer you'll, choose Jesus isn't the easy way out at all, it hard. But I just idk. For me Jesus is just worth it you know.

Friend # 7
Q: Why did you choose to follow Jesus?
A: hey! (i’m sorry, this is SO long.) what an interesting question. i’ll try my best to articulate it and answer that fully, but it’s so hard to answer a question so FULL. so, i faked it. my entire life. i faked it all growing up at kamp, i faked it all growing up at church, and if i’m being totally really with my own heart, i faked it going into link year. i knew the mental concepts of the gospel, but nothing took root. it’s not that i was DEAD inside, there was some relationship with the LORD, but it wasn’t all-encompassing and all-consuming. it didn’t direct every decision i made. jesus didn’t change me, i changed him to fit into the areas where i allowed it to. i saw my relationship with god as “good” and “bad”, black and white. the people who were REALLY bad were distant from Christ, but even though i mean, sure, sometimes i went too far sexually with guys, sometimes i went to places i shouldn’t have been at, sometimes i lied, sometimes i talked really dirty, but like, i didn’t do the “biggies”. i remember my senior year, being so broken, being so aware that i was such a hypocrite and thinking, “ok cool, this is my year i’m going to be better.” and sure, i was a “good girl” that year. my relationship with jesus was as strong as it had been this far. but there was something missing. there was a fulness that wasn’t there, and trying to “find it” and “figure it out” was like trying to remember something you never knew in the first place. i remember going to link and things began to click. i saw the JOY in the LORD, that it was obvious that christian community was such a beautiful and thriving place to live in. but, as much as i ADORE link year and the ministry there, there’s so much pride that it can instill in your heart. there’s a competitive edge to your personal faith that pops up that shouldn’t be there. but, jesus started to make sense. i was learning so much, the logical side to the gospel and the exciting part to community with god. there’s so much brokenness you have to walk through in link year, but i saw that i was changing. i knew i felt different. but, there was an edge of superiority and pride and it came into my first summer on staff. if you asked me last summer, i would’ve told you that it was because jesus is true, historically and theologically. i would tell you everything about how walking with jesus made MY life better, how i had seen walking with Him begin to destroy depression, & that there was a part of my heart that “clicked” now, which is all true. but man, i have to be honest, i have learned more about WHY i chose to follow jesus after leaving link. i follow jesus because i need him. and not in the kamp, “wow we’re broken and need jesus and yay grace” flippant way that i talked about it last year. because i was designed to walk with him. before fiji, y’all probably had to read “jesus + nothing = everything” by tullian tchvidijian, which is to this day my favorite thing i read at link, and in the beginning, he gives a quote from augustine that says, “you made us for yourself, and our hearts are restless until they find you”. it’s a process, friend. it’s NOT a finish line. you will not reach a point when your weaknesses are gone, when you know finite “why you believe what you believe”, when you will be sanctified, when you have this whole “life with jesus” thing down. everytime i think i’m getting my act with jesus together, that’s a huge flag notifying me that i still don’t get it. i’ll get it for a little, and then not get it again. so it goes with our little prideful hearts. i’m in a season where my relationship the LORD isn’t furious. it’s not hot to the touch. It’s not intense with passion. it’s steady. Sometimes, it’s quiet. i know He’s there, and I see Him working and moving. but, He’s not wrecking my world currently. yet.
last year was my spiritual “springtime”. my heart was moist with rich soil. truth was planted; it took root. i sprouted with growth, and colors were so much brighter than they had ever begin. jesus consumed every inch of my heart, His truth rang so clear and loud, and He began this process of sanctification within me, stripping away my flesh and making me more like Him. i saw myself change. i saw my sin weak against the power of the Cross.
but, I still struggle with some of the same sins I did before I was a Christian. i’m in another season where I feel dry and lifeless. i’m in another season of confusion, of grey. and, my heart has asked, “Well, did I not do it right? Was I not sanctified correctly? Did I not love Jesus enough? Why don’t I feel the same anymore?” jesus is constant. He never changes. oh, but we do. we change. we go through seasons. we are constantly becoming more like Jesus, with no expiration date, because we never stop growing. so today, that’s why i chose to follow jesus. tomorrow my answer could be different. that’s the beauty of doing life with jesus verses trying to reach this spiritual “finish line”  that doesn’t exist. i’m sorry this is SO long, but i wanted to make sure everything was clear & made sense.

Friend # 8
Q: Why did you choose to follow Jesus?
A: I mean for me it was a long process, cause originally I just thought I did. but when I was at k1 for the third year there were some certain talks that showed me that it was a commitment. so that's when the growth started, but there's been a lot of humps in the journey between them in now. like a year after that, I was really struggling with faith. or a few years after that, I was struggling with full commitment. and a few years ago I was really confused how repentance worked if I knew I was gonna sin again later. but sanctification is a process, and it always has been for me. but I read my bible a lot throughout my first years, and that really helped pulled me through. and there were a few years in high school where I didn't as much, which was really terrible.
Q: Why do you continue to follow Him now?
A: because I believe that's what I'm made for. also because I want to; I want to pursue and honor Christ.
Q: Have you ever wondered how much easier it would be to not. To just live life with out any religion or God. 
A: well, I think it's a matter of perspective. like anyone knows that cookies always look like a good idea when you want one, but if you look at someone who ate cookies whenever they wanted them 10 years later, they'd not look so smart anymore. and I think that question makes it sound like following Jesus is harder and worse, but I don't think so, I think it's rewarding and makes me better. and so even though it looks harder from the front sometimes, it's truly better. and I've seen that in little ways in my life, and I see that sin is complicated and has consequences, and obedience to God is hard sometimes but it keeps life simple, and simple is easy. so it's easy but hard, but I think living in sin is also easy (bc it's what we're inclined to do) but hard (bc it has bad effects on things).
so I don't think it would be easier in the long run. but sometimes it definitely is easier to choose sin, but I think living life without Jesus would make everything harder in the end. and I wouldn't have a reason to become better or to love people, but because I believe in him, He's the reason I do that.

Friend # 9
Q: Why did you choose to follow Jesus?
A: Ephesians 2:8-9 says that we are saved by grace through faith alone. I was awakened to gospel by the grace of God. I was a spiritual zombie. there is absolutely nothing in my sinful soul that would want to follow Christ, but God awakened me to His mercy and His grace. I think that’s a really important point to make. We can’t reach out our hands to Christ if we’re dead. I am a wicked, sinful, awful person that does not deserve the gospel AT ALL. but by the grace of God He loved me. He sent His son to die for me. to right all of my wrong, all of my sins. God doesn’t say keep my commandments and I’ll love you. He says despite it all I love you no matter what. God is SO GOOD. Christianity is the only religion where He gives us everything and He asks for nothing in return. that is SO cool to me. that we are nothing and will amount to nothing but Jesus is EVERYTHING (1 Corin 13:2). His grace goes deeper still. something I learned recently is that we can’t make ourselves be better christians. we can’t just stop sinning. our tastebuds have to change. until we realize that we can only rely on Him we will always be trying to fill a void of empty things. Ephesians 2 also talks about how we deserve the wrath of God BUT GOD made us alive. He awakens us. Clinging to Jesus means walking in light and leaving the darkness. Ephesians 5 talks about walking in the light. following Jesus is walking in the light. it isn’t easy. we will suffer, we will be persecuted.(2 Corin 12:10) picking up the cross can feel like putting up with a flat tire or it can feel like what it really is-death. death to flesh, death to our sinful desires. following Jesus means building our eternal crown in heaven. following Jesus means saying I am empty and weak and exhausted but still saying He is good and His plan is perfect. He is powerful in my weakness. growth occurs when we discover the caverns our sin is encompassed in and discovering that grace goes further. I chose to follow Jesus because Jesus is everything. He gives us meaning when my life seems meaningless. He tells me I’m loved when I feel unlovable. He tells me I’m enough when I feel inadequate. He treats me like a daughter who’s love will and could never run out. Psalm 139 talks all about how God knows everything about me and still chose to send His son to die for me. His grace is the gravity that pulls me from my depravity. He liberates me. He gives me joy because He is joy. I cannot know love or joy or wisdom without Him. Following Jesus is something that I get to do. to constantly seek Him and give Him the glory is the only thing I should ever strive to do and to be because we should be praising Him with every second we get.

Someone told me to do this the other day and I really liked it and wanted to share:
Replace colossians 1:9-14 with your name
We haven’t stopped praying for Karly. We are asking that Karly may be filled with the knowledge of His will in all wisdom and spiritual understanding, so that Karly may walk worthy of the Lord, fully pleasing to Him, bearing fruit in every good work and growing in the knowledge of God. May Karly be strengthened with all power according to His glorious might, for all endurance and patience, with joy giving thanks to the Father, who has enabled Karly to share the saint’s inheritance in the light. He has resurrected Karly from the domain of darkness and transferred Karly into the kingdom of the Son He loves. Karly has redemption, the forgiveness of sins, in Him.

Friend # 10
 Q: Why did you choose to follow Jesus?
A: When I was younger, I did because I believed that the belief that Jesus was the only was the only way to heaven was the truth. But when I really chose to follow Christ it was because I believed that He was the only thing I could trust. And then at that point I started to fall in love. And even when that love feels distance and I feel apathetic or when I doubt my ability to trust Him. I know that following Christ is the only thing that can give life purpose and I want to feel the love I have for Him again
Q: Why do you continually follow Him? What does it look like?
A: Part of it is what I told you about falling in love with Him, knowing that following Him is the only way My life will have an impact, and trusting that He is the only thing worth pursuing. I don't always feel like these but even still I choose to believe them. Why do I trust the He is the only thing that can give me purpose? Because of my experiences. When I am totally lost, mad at God, doubt Him, or whatever and I start to doubt His goodness I remind myself of the good things He has done for me. When I wonder whether this life is worthwhile, whether I'm missing out, whether this will be satisfying, or whether it will be exciting, I focus on the truth that God has given us and that I believed before and I cling to it. I hold on to it and I repeat it as my rock to stand firm in the confusion. Now don't get me wrong, I have struggled and run away and purposely chose not to follow Christ at times, and sometimes every day seems like a struggle. And when I try to fix that on my own, I just seem to fail. But when I cry out to God and seek Him and trust Him enough to wait, He always proves faithful. He always opens my eyes eventually even if it takes what seems like forever. There are a lot of different pieces to what I think ppl would say it looks like to "follow" Christ. And I could tell you about discipleship and spiritual disciplines etc etc. And don't get me wrong, those are good things and they are a part of following Christ. But I think we often get caught up in all the things what we need to "do" to follow Christ. When in reality, following Christ is about pursuing intimacy with Him (meaning developing the relationship) and sharing Him with others. Everything flows out of intimacy with Him. It is what begins to drive us to obedience and growth. It's the fuel that moves us towards "doing what is right". It's what helps us discern truth. It's what reminds us that we get to walk in freedom so instead of constantly trying to work on the failures and sin nature we have, we can just recognize it and pray to God to help us change and grow rather than trying to do it ourselves. So yea, if I could only tell you one thing about what it looks like to follow Christ, it would be to focus on falling more in love with him everyday, to seek intimacy with Him.

Friend # 11
Q: Why did you choose to follow Jesus?
A: Well, when I first accepted Christ it was at kamp and I just wanted to ring the bell. I knew who Jesus was, but it was just normal to me because I grew up in a Christian home. It wasn't until middle school and then even deeper once I got to high school that I realized it almost wasn't even a choice in the sense that I am nothing without Jesus. He has the double effect of being so worthy and powerful and that I can't help but worship Him while also being so gracious and overwhelmingly loving that I want to worship Him. Once I started finding happiness and true contentment in Jesus is when I truly chose to start following Him.
Q: Why do you currently still follow him? What does that look like?
A: I currently still follow Him because I find joy in His love. And that sounds so cheesy but it's SO true. Sometimes I'll just be sitting reading my Bible and I get teary eyed or suddenly start smiling because I am NOTHING yet Jesus put everything on the line for me. I'm so negative about myself but He sees me without flaws. Once you t ruly understand and accept that, you can't stop yourself from being overcome with love and the desire to follow Him. For me, following Jesus is seen through my actions both publicly and privately. Upon knowing and following Jesus, it's so much easier to be a friend to people. I read a quote once that said "We can love others without loving Jesus but we certainly cannot love Jesus without loving others." We're called not to be served but to serve so following Jesus requires a servant's heart. Privately, following Jesus is done through my daily quiet times and prayer. Each morning, before everyone else is awake, I am able to read my Bible and my daily devotional and that is where I truly experience the Lord's presence.
Q: Do you ever think about how much easier it would be to not? What makes you choose Him over the world?
A: Actually, I don't. In a lot of ways I think it would be much harder because I would be alone and wouldn't have a purpose on this earth. The world is so surface level and I think finding true meaning and love in Jesus overcomes the things that satisfy the world. 

Friend # 12
Q: Why did you choose to follow Jesus?
A: Wow! I have never been asked this before. The more I have thought about it this morning I realize it's really a simple answer.. The Lord changed my heart. He chose me and opened my heart to desire him and I choose to live for him daily. I was raised in a Christian family, my parents took me to church and I was never resistant towards it, but I never had the option of whether or not I wanted to attend church or the Christian private school I went to, but I enjoyed it! On the outside I looked the part, going to church, hanging out with my "church friends" who just so happened to be my best friends, going to Kamp. But my heart was in need of a Savior and in need of a heart change. All of those things shaped me into the person I am today, and I'm so thankful I was raised in that way, but that's really beside the point. As I moved to Tyler the Lord started to really work in me, I know longer had my parents around to make decisions for me, my decisions were my own. And that's when I saw the Lord start to work on my behalf in friendships, he has given me the most wonderful friends, these people have really made me understand the concept of iron sharpening iron.. And it's not always pretty or comfortable, but so beneficial for my walk with the Lord. In this I have also been made aware of my sin, Karly my sin is so awful and it hurts my heart to see it.. And that's the biggest sign to me that the Lord has changed my heart. It's no longer an option for me to ignore my sins and keep going because they way me down and that's how I know I'm desperate for Jesus. But once again that is ALL because he has changed me from the inside out.. Obviously still a work in progress, he is DAILY exposing things in my life that I need forgiveness and repentance in.. Yet he is so good, and gracious. Sorry I'm just unloading all of this but, I think the only answer I can truly give you for me decision to follow the Jesus is that it wasn't my own decision, it was Him choosing me and me everyday working hard at being the best lover of Jesus I can be! He captured my heart!

Friend # 13
Q: Why did you choose to follow Jesus?
A: i use to be really depressed and I hated myself because I thought I was a mistake, but when I went into the hospital I saw everything God did for me and how he kept saving me and I knew he loved me and I knew I wanted to follow him
Q: Why do you continually follow Him? What does it look like? 
A: Because most days God is all I have. Sure we have had ups and down and it hasn't been easy, but for most of my life I haven't had anyone else, but God. I mean how could I not follow someone who is always there for me and always showing me His love for me.
I just know that he's the one I constantly want to talk to and tell what's on my heart and i always want to thank Him for all He does. When something bad happens He is the first one I want to talk to. He's where I find happiness  

Q: Wouldn't it be easier to not follow Him? What makes you chose Him over the world?
A: No it's not. Because the world is lonely and I feel lost in it. I would rather go through all the pain in the world to follow someone that I know is worth it then have two seconds of trying to fit into the world 

Friend # 14
Q: Why did you choose to follow Jesus?
A: because I am lost and need him in my life. 
Q: Would it be easier to not follow Him? What makes you choose Him over the world?
A: sometimes it would be easier yeah. when all the other kids in my class are disrespecting the teacher and cussing and drinking it absolutely would be easier to just do what they do. but because with Him my life is so much more fulfilled. I have a purpose and someone who is always there and who loves me and forgives me for the stupid things I do. like he died so I would know him, how could I pass that up?  

Friend # 15
 Q: Why did you choose to follow Jesus?
A:  I accepted Christ when I was ten and I did it mostly out of fear. I was scared of what would happen if I didn't. 
Q: Why do you continually follow Him? What does that look like?
A: I continued because I realized I was broken and was in need of a savior. I think following him is striving to be the best christian you can be by following his word, being discipled, and discipling. 
Q: Would it be easier to not follow Him? What makes you choose Him over the world?
A: I think it would probably be easier to not follow him but it could get someone into a lot of trouble down the line. I think the rules are really just protection from harm the world can do to an individual. I choose to follow him even though it might be a little harder because Jesus took the hard road and was crucified on a cross to save me. So following him is the least I could do.  

Friend # 16
Q: Why did you choose to follow Jesus?
A: because growing up i learned that life was just a big ball of mess without him. and you can never be lonely when you're in his presence despite how lonely the world can make you feel. and because he's given me a life I don't deserve
Q: Why do you continually follow Him? What does it look like?
A: I continually follow him because I've experienced what it's like to be distant from him and there's a huge difference. following him includes pure joy which nobody can have through worldly things. it's a permanent joy when the world only brings temporary joy. following him also brings contentment and you feel full on the inside. without him or when you stray away from him there's an emptiness that can't really be explained. it's like something's missing. whenever I stray away from him I sometimes feel awkward. he brings a sense of comfort. that's more from an inside perspective. from the outside following him is so hard but you don't have all those inside feelings if you don't follow him from the outside. people have to look at you and notice something different. that joy that you feel on the inside has to shine through and be seen from the outside. you have to make people feel comfortable and welcomed. you have to put yourself in uncomfortable situations knowing that the lord will make you comfortable. it's hard but it's worth it.
Q: Wouldn't it be easier to not follow him then? What makes you choose Him over the world?
A: it would be easier but it's not worth it. the challenge to follow him is part of it. yes it may be easier now but in the future would you want to spend eternity in burning hell? no. it's hard but the ultimate goal of Christianity is to spread the word of the lord so that everyone can spend eternity in heaven with the almighty. choosing the world over him is one of the hardest things because in today's world everyone chooses to live for themselves and not for him. especially in college. but like I said earlier it's the permanent joy that comes with following him. not gonna lie I struggle with it every day but why would you not choose to follow him? you have pure, clean, fun relationships with the Christians around you who encourage you to stay strong in your faith and not fall into temptation and the best part is eternity in heaven. why not? 

Friend # 17
Q: Why did you choose to follow Jesus?
A:  But I chose to follow Jesus for a few reasons, first of all her proves he's God so it's a good choice to follow God, but not only is He God, He is a God who is faithful and literally communicates with us like any normal person could and having a relationship with him is more real than mine and my mothers relationship. He also chooses to serve us which blows my mind, and it's just a testament to how real relationship with Him is. Does any of that make sense? The reason I chose to follow Jesus is the depth i pursued in relationship. It was just so entincing.
 Q: Wouldn't it be easier to not? What makes you choose Him over the world?
A: Yeah it would definetly be "easier" but I wouldn't be as happy nor the person I am. It's knowing the true person and character of God and going deeper in that, that's where I find it being beyond worth it. There is nothing like it or anything that could be a replicate, ya feel? It would be much easier to give into my flesh and sex drive and gain people's respect but only for a moment then after that moment I realize it's not worth it because my soul and spirit has tasted something greater and now it desires that new beautiful thing, when you truly meet God you are changed, ya know?

Friend # 18
Q: Why did you choose to follow Jesus?
A: Ok for me. Like it's almost like why wouldn't i? I'm loved by the creator of the universe, the king of kings, my father, GOD, an almighty, faithful God. He loves me with love I can't even comprehend. He cares for me. He created me, fearfully and wonderfully. He sent jesus to DIE the death I deserved so that I may have eternal life. Apart from him I am NO good. Through him, I am a NEW creation. I am an adopted father. And one day, I'll get to embrace my abba and he will say well done my good and faithful servant.  What a beautiful thought. 
Q: Wouldn't it be easier to not? What makes you chose Him over the world?
A: It's not easier, it's like a daily decision to deny myself and pick up the cross but it's so worth it. When I don't want to i remind myself, of the verse in Matthew that's says well done my good and faithful servant. Like wow. The God of it all saying that to me. Like it's hard, yes. But so worth it. Our suffering now is incomparable to the glory and riches we will receive in heaven for ALL of eternity. 

Friend # 19
Q: Why did you choose to follow Jesus?
A:  Because I've seen Him work in my life too many times not too. In a world that's riddled with suffering and evil, I've seen His love and His goodness and He gives me a hope, something to hold on to through all the bad. And, on a less emotional note, history makes a pretty good case for Him, too
Q: Wouldn't t be easier not to follow Him? What makes you choose Him over the world?
A: How would it be easier not to follow Him? Suffering exists in the world whether I believe in Jesus or not. So I choose to believe in and cling to the One who will remain constant through all of it.  

Friend # 20
Q: Why did you choose to follow Jesus?
A: I know a lot of my faith has come from kamp, and that's great, but it's been within the past few years that I've been able to make it my own and voluntarily choose to follow Jesus each day, not just like practice my religion by reading my bible and doing my quiet times. Hes been showing me that there's nothing I can do to earn my way into His presence, and that the only way to Him is obviously through His grace, and that all I need to do is exactly what you asked: follow Him. But I guess that doesn't really Answer the question.
At all. Ugh words and feelings.
I chose to follow Jesus because I know that on my own I can't do anything good, only through Him can I. And that's because He is good. That goodness was demonstrated to us through Him dying on the cross to save us of the bad that consumed us. He is the only hope. Without Him I knew I would be lost. I'm constantly overwhelmed by His abundant love and grace. His love is so illogical to me, and I'm a very logic based person, so it's hard for me to wrap my mind around it, but that's what's so beautiful about it. You know by the depth and mystery of His love that He has to be so much greater and something beyond worth following, no matter the cost. There's just so much to Him that I'm dying to learn and attempt to understand, and the fact that I'll never be able to fully wrap my mind around Him is also incredible bc if we could completely understand Him, what would be the point? There would be an end point, and then what? You just spiritually peak? With Jesus, it never ends.  

Q: Wouldn't it be easier to not follow Him? What makes you choose Him over the world?
A: Yeah it's definitely easier to choose the world because that's what we're naturally set to do as humans. I choose Him over the world because of what He did for us and the love that He has extended to us. He is worth waking up every day, making the decision to be a slave to righteousness and an alien to this world. What can you gain from the world other than eternal damnation? 

Friend # 21 
Q: Why did you choose to follow Jesus?
A: Because my earthly father was crap at the time and the fact that an eternal father sacrificed His only Son, knowing that I would still sin was the love I was looking for
Q: Why do you continually follow Him? What does it look like?
A: It looks like me failing a lot and grace abounding. Me realizing that I'm nothing without Him and there are sacrifices to following Him but the blessing have been better than I could imagine It's asking forgiveness from Him daily and having to constantly search for answers and evaluate if I'm leading a life for Him or myself 
Q: Would it be easier to not follow Him? What makes you choose Him over the world?
A: I don't know why I would choose the world when I can get so many benefits from following Him. at times it would probably be easier to follow the world but it's not worth it in the long run you'll never be satisfied  

Friend # 22
Q: Why did you choose to follow Jesus?
A:  Well i grew up going to church and because of that I "accepted Jesus" when I was really young. But in middle school when all that was happening with my grandma, my dad sat me down and explained how he forgave my grandma. We are all imperfect yet Jesus loves us so much and calls us to love others. And I was amazed that this Jesus guy had such an impact on my dad that he chose to get over his pride and do what Jesus would want him to do. That was the moment when I really started go follow Jesus.
Q: But why? Like, in that moment that's why, but why did you continue it, why do you still do it?
A: Because I've realized that I can't do life on my own. No matter how hard I try. I've realized that I am a broken human who is in desperate need of a savior.
Q: Have you ever wondered how much easier it would be to not. To just live life with out any religion or God. 
A: Absolutely. It would be so much easier. But Jesus even said following Him would be hard. 

Friend # 23
Q: Why did you choose to follow Jesus?
A:  I chose to follow Jesus because he is a constant in my life, whether good or bad things were happening he was there. He also gave me a lot of hope. When I first heard about him he just gave me hope like there's a bigger purpose for me then what I have planned and I liked that as a child ig
Q: Why do you continually follow Him? What does it look like?
A: My daily devotionals are important to maintaining the relationship. I'm in a bad mood when I don't start my day with it. It's easy for me to follow a guy who is bigger, stronger and loves me more than anyone I know. It's also easier for me to love others when I know He loves them unconditionally. I have a much better outlook on my life when I'm following him
Q: Would it be easier to not follow Him? What makes you chose Him over the world?
A: I think it would be easier to turn from him, a lot less heartache for my friends who are not following him because I'd be right there with them. Since day one I've never been a fan of what the world has to offer me, as far as music, movies, clothes idk with Him I see a bigger plan and realize that everything is fleeting here in good ol earth 

Friend # 24
Q: Why did you choose to follow Jesus?
A:  Cause I tried literally everything else to be better and feel better and feel full and they all left me more hurt and more empty than before
Q: Why do you continually? What does it look like?
A: It's really freaking hard sometimes. Cause in my like fleshy human ness I still sometime go back to old stuff but never once did He just walk away. Like I am the prodigal son story again and again but He still has grace. Sooo basically The king of the freaking world continues to rescue me every single day. And how can I stay quiet about something like that?
Q: Wouldn't it be easier not to follow Him? What makes you chose Him over the world?
A: Yeah it would be easier for sure not to follow him. But not worth it at all. That's like choosing to feel empty and choosing to run from love.  

Friend # 25
Q: Why did you choose to follow Jesus?
A: Well, if I am to take a doctrinal stance here, I would say that God first chose me. He knew me and chose me before the foundation of the world....we can see that in Ephesians 1:4-5 and 1 Peter 1:2. Technically speaking, this would be called predestination, and I believe in God's infinite knowledge and wisdom, He chose me to belong to Him.

Now, in 4th grade was when the Holy Spirit illuminated the truth of the Gospel in my mind and heart. He revealed to me the truth that I am a sinner in need of a savior. That God loved me and sent His only son to die on my place, and that through Him I have eternal life, and am saved from my sinful punishment of eternal death in hell.

However, throughout middle school and high school, I did not "intimately" pursue God (mostly because I didn't know what that meant), but also had a warped view - meaning, I thought my relationship with God was conditional and that I had to "do" stuff in order to earn God's love. That's how it was with my family, and that's how I thought it was with God. Though I understood the gospel and what God DID for me, I didn't understand what that MEANT for me.

College was worse. This battle of "earning" God's love was EXHAUSTING for me. I didn't understand what it meant to walk in freedom. I was tired of feeling like I was failing. So I gave up. I chose to do things that my flesh wanted to do. I drank, I partied, because it was "fun" (for a short time, always hated it after, but kept doing it...stupid). Stopped going to church and stopped "pursuing" God. Didn't mean I lost my salvation, bc nothing can separate us from the love of God (Romans 8, Ephesians 1:13-14). But definitely didn't walk the Christian life like I said I was doing.

At the end of college, I realized I wasted time. I did things that were so temporary, unsatisfactory, and unfulfilling. It was after college that I thought I should give the whole Christianity thing a second shot. I had grown up my entire life hearing that only God fulfills you. Only He can satisfy you. So I wanted to see of those statements were true. I wanted to see if I could prove it wrong.

I came to the Institute. Realized there I had a skewed and shallow belief of God. He sent His Son to die for me. Yes. He took my place. Yes. But ohhhhhh there was so much more depth that I was missing. I was standing in the kidding pool when I could have been standing in the ocean.

Through Jesus and His blood, I am CLEANSED and HEALED from sin. I am not held captive by the power of sin any longer. And it's nothing of my own doing...I still to this day can't fully fathom that.

I think, just the way my mind works, I will always struggle in the battle of "doing/earning" God's love. BUT He has been so faithful in my life to remind me that I can't do anything to earn His love. He loves me - on good days.....and on bad days. Anything I do for God is like filthy rags. Nothing in comparison to His holiness and amazing character.

So I choose Jesus. I choose Jesus every day.

It's hard. I still struggle. I still sin. I still walk by my flesh.

But God is good. He is faithful. He is love.

There are long periods of time where I don't "feel" God or think He's working all things out for my good. But He is - scripture says so. And that is my battle. When I read God's word, I have to make the conscience decision in my mind and heart to go "do I believe this to be true or not?"

If God's word says He loves me, then I have to ask, "is this true or not" - if it is, then that will dramatically change the way I live than if I believe that it is not true.

The Christian walk is hard. It is. But God is the ONLY thing that has proven to be true and faithful in my life.

My friendships will fail, lust will destroy, power is dangerous, materialism will fade and be gone.

Why put my hope in that, when I can REST in the character and truth of God.

He chose me, and now I chose to live for Him. I must remind myself that everyday until the die I day.


Friend # 26
Q: Why did you choose to follow Jesus?
A:  I saw this message about 30 minutes ago and have been searching for an honest response. I accepted Him when I was 6. I didn't realize what that meant really. It was like "the right thing to do". I felt that way until late high school and I started a new path in my life choosing to follow Jesus and realizing how much of it was daily denying myself for Him. I chose to really because I realized how blessed I was and how much grace I had been shown through all of the mess ups I had made and that my creator deserved my U devoted love and attention and service. But honestly the reason I struggled in answering this isn't because of my previous answers but I honest to God feel that I'm not on that path anymore. I feel like all senior year I tried so hard to not be that large percent that falls away and really it wasn't like I meant to. I started out really good with *Friends*. Then *Friend1* and I talked less and I didn't go to that church as much because I was afraid to go alone and then *Friend2* tore our friendship and just up and left, mad at me for calling her out on a couple things. So I started this decline. I felt it and felt helpless. I slipped into sin I never imagined struggling with. I didn't have friends or accountability here. I honestly just feel so alone. And I thought Christmas break would help and New Years but it just didn't and this semester it just been all talk. I feel like I'm not walking with Jesus anymore. And I'm kind of just now admitting this to myself.. And I don't know why on earth im telling you all of this but yeah. I'm not totally sure that I'm still choosing Him to be first in my life and that is kind of really scary..

Friend # 27
Q: Why did you choose to follow Jesus?
A:  well first of all, it was never like a noble righteous, I want to do good & be good because I know that Jesus is the only way.
it was more of a I tried everything else & basically ran away from Jesus, & then everything else failed me & brought me down to the lowest that I could be. & I realized at that point no matter what, I wasn't happy with myself.
I didn't like myself.
& really God showed me that apart from him it's impossible to like yourself.
because we as people suck. a lot.
so it came down to needing a real happiness & security (that at the time I was only finding in temporary things)
it was honestly a lot of God & not a lot of me.
but I think after a while it got to a point where I just had to put my wants aside.
I mean I still wanted to do things that weren't the best for me yeah.
But I knew it wouldn't be worth it in the end, I'd feel like crud, my self esteem would be low again, others would judge me, I would be making Gods grace cheap, & I'd be a hypocrite in my faith.
like it's crazy looking back now because I don't even know how I could be in that much sin all the time, know that I was going to keep on sinning, & call myself a Christian.
like I'm actually 99% sure before this year I wasn't.
there's no way.
I mean I thought I was but you can't keep doing things like that & be that okay with it if you are.
also just realizing that all of it makes sense. like Gods plan for us really is for our good.
little things like no sex before marriage & not getting drunk & not lying.
life is just exponentially better when you follow the rules God has set out for us. like I know now that it's not even worth it for that moment of 'satisfaction' if you could even call it that.
sorry you've got me started on this now.
another big thing is I care what people think about me now. the whole 'eff everyone, I don't care what people think, I'm so care free' thing is fake.
everyone should care what people think. maybe not about the outside but definitely about the inside & about your heart.
I want people to know that I have a good heart & am caring & am different & have higher standards for myself.
& I want them to know that's because of God.
like as a Christian I'm never going to not claim God so that means I need to watch what I do, what I say, so that they know this is what God does for people.
& it's not easy.
like even if you love God & are living for him you still have to try. really hard. every day. because it's not in our nature.
but it's worth it. it's so worth it.


Friend # 28
Q: Why did you choose to follow Jesus?
A:  For me, it was initially because the Christian community I encountered at kamp was way better than anything I had at home and it was because that community was a reflection of Jesus. As I've grown and matured into a more real faith and a deeper relationship with Christ, I become more aware of how actually broken I am. And I know that sounds cliche, but it's for real so true. Like I can try and try and try to do things right and try and try and try to modify my behavior to look more christ-like, but if I am not constantly seeking after Jesus with my heart and mind then I will fail. I know when I look at the universe that there has to be a creator; something this great and intricate didn't just come from nothing. There is evidence pointing to the validation of the Bible (read the Case for Christ by Lee Strobel) But even more than that, I didn't just choose to follow Jesus on my own. He ran hard after me and made his presence pretty unavoidable for a long time. 
Q: Would it be easier to not follow Him? Why do you choose Him over the world?
A:  I don't know that it would be easier for me to not have Jesus. Believe me, there are times when every part of me wants to run far away from Jesus and just do my own thing. But without Jesus, I have nothing to live for. Like, think about it, if there is no end result, no purpose; if this is just an earth making a rotation around the sun that if just a star, then what is the point? Jesus gives purpose and breathes life. Sure, there are lifestyles of the world that are easier and more momentarily pleasing, but I have found that when I try to fulfill myself with those things that I become hopeless and depressed. 

Friend # 29
Q: Why did you choose to follow Jesus?
A: Because when I was at probably the lowest point of my life, God was the only one to comfort me and say it's gonna be alright.
Q:Why do you continually follow Him? What does it look like?
A: Well I'm not gonna lie its a huge pull and tug type of situation. Like I'll really really really wanna drink or maybe smoke pot just to try it and I'll tell myself no first off BC if I did who would I disappoint? My parents, my sister, all of my youth kids at church i mentor, and most importantly God. And if I do choose to do something not pleasing to God, I feel SUPER guilty the next morning. I think that if you're asking me these questions and trying to find something and have a internal struggle that the Holy Spirit is definitely working in you. I don't have just a pull and tug situation going on with just those things, but with everything like who I hang out with, if I cuss, or argue with my parents. Honestly if I know I did something wrong I feel really bad about it (which you should know bc I'm super sensitive lol) I try to think of God and Jesus like this: how would you feel if you disappointed your parents? Like with anything. And just the guilt you would feel bc you love them and you let them down. And also how much your parents love you and how they would do anything to help you out and they would die for you. That's how God is. That's kind of where it really clicked for me, it was hard for me to think of God and to really love him, but when I realized that he's like my mom and dad, but perfect then it really clicked. To follow Jesus is to just love him and to not want to upset him bc you know how much He loves you and you realize that he's always there to give you a hug when you need one. And to really go out of your way to be there for him. Isn't that what you would do for your parent or best friend? Your love for him dictates how you live your life

Friend # 30
Q: Why did you choose to follow Jesus?
A: I finally realized that I was nothing with out christ and that nothing mattered except for him. I had been struggling with friends and being emotionally bullied all through Jr.  High and there was a moment where I finally understood that none of that could affect me and none of it matter if I had christ in my life. And so I decided to follow him and not care about what was going on around me, but instead trust that he had a plan for all of it!
Q: Why do you continually follow Him? What does it look like?
A: Because he has blessed me in so many ways. And I've seen that since the day I put all my trust in him. There are so many things I do wrong on a day to day basis, but he continually gives me grace and mercy and knows that I am imperfect. He has a plan for me, and time and time again he uses me for his will, and that feeling is one of the many reasons why I continue to follow him. He not only gives me a purpose but also gives me the means to fulfill that purpose. Every day I struggle with worldliness but I do my best to fight the good fight and grow in my faith each and everyday. I spend time in the word and in prayer in order to know how will for me and be able to live it out everyday 
Q: Would it be easier not to follow Him? What makes you choose Him over the world?
A: Oh for sure. Being a Christian and living a life dedicated to christ is probably the hardest thing I've had to do. It's so easy to fall into worldliness because it's so tangible. Having faith in something you can't see takes strength and courage. It would be so much easier to do what ever I want and not care about a thing, but as a Christian I do the complete opposite of that. What the lord calls us to do is the exact opposite of the way we naturally are, and that's what makes Christianity so hard.

2 Corinthians 4:18 says "as we look not to the things that are seen but to the things that are unseen. For the things that are seen are transient, but the things that are unseen are eternal." Which pretty much sums up the 2nd question. The world is so temporary  and only provides temporary pleasure. We are on this earth for a lifetime, but in reality we are alive for an eternity. And in the grand scheme of things, our time here on earth is so minuscule. If we conform to worldly things and don't follow him, we choose an eternity in hell  but if we follow the Lord, we get to enjoy an eternity in heaven. The thought of living forever next to my lord and savior is what keeps me fighting worldly temptations

Friend # 31
Q: Why did you choose to follow Jesus?
A: When I was in barn 1 at k-kountry
That's a very interesting question to ask someone at 12:26 in the morning
Oh it says why, sorry I thought you were asking  when!
I chose to follow Jesus for several reasons. One reason was I was a really nervous, lonely child and knowing God provided comfort in my life. Also I realized that I wasn't perfect and I never was going to be so I needed him to to make me whole. Lastly I saw examples of people who were following the lord and I aspired to be like them, because they seemed happier and more fulfilled than the non christian examples in my life.
Q: Why do you continually follow Him? What does it look like?
A: I continually follow him because he meets my needs and sin is bad. Also after accepting Christ there was a noticeable difference and I felt like a new person.

I try to put him first in all that I do and follow what the bible says. I also try to find time to spend in the word and prayer.
Q: Would it be easier not to follow Him? What makes you choose Him over the world?
A: On some thing it would be easier to not follow him and just do what I want and get short term satisfaction but I chose to follow him because I'm the long run his ways offer eternal gratification

Friend # 32
Q: Why did you choose to follow Jesus?
A: Because Jesus's story is the only thing worth holding on to. The sacrifice that he made and the love that God showed for me is something I believe to be true, and if I believe it to be true then there is no way I can sit by and just do nothing. God is worthy of praise and to follow Jesus is to praise God for what He has done
Q: Would it be easier to not follow Him? What makes you choose Him over the world?
A: Yeah but in my heart I know what is true, I know how God has made me and that y purpose is to serve him. I could choose the world but God is the truth and I can't just go against that when I know what is true

Friend # 33
Q: Why did you choose to follow Jesus?
A: because he let me see a glimpse of his kindness and grace, and I couldn't push it away
Q: What makes you continually follow Him? What does it look like?
A: hm, well, i think its just the awareness of his grace and the knowledge of that kindness that changed my life and now i can't imagine going back. and then there is a lot of hurting in life and i don't know how i would be able to function right now without Jesus, seriously. because school is dark and the world is dark and the past is dark and there are a lot of questions and pain in my heart and i need to know that im not alone because without him i would be. following him is the response to the fact that i have been seized by a love I didn't deserve, so i love people differently and i have joy in situations where joy makes no sense and i am forgiven even when i mess up and im free to be rejected by people because they don't define me. i get to tell people the story of his grace and how he found me and disciple others and i get to show people who don't deserve love kindness. i get to boldly pray everyday whenever i want no matter what i've done that day. i get to watch things that "never could be healed" be healed.

Friend # 34
Q: Why did you choose to follow Jesus?
A: Because I really sucked, and someone told me I didn't have to do it on my own or try so hard anymore.
Q: Why do you continually follow Him? What does it look like?
A: My life literally depends on it. I don't think I would be alive without Him. He is teaching me that he is the romancer of my soul. Honestly I've been super complacent as of late. I write and draw in worship, I'm currently learning how to just be still. I can't earn His favor and love and that really rubs me wrong. I'm learning how to submit and hold my life with open hands rather than closed fists. He's graciously allowing me to return over and over.
Q: Would it be easier to not follow Him? What makes you choose Him over the world?
A: Yeah it would be a lot easier to not follow Him. It would have been easier to die when I thought I was going to or compromise my morals when "no one would like me" I choose Him because He is completely a part of who I am. I went through such an identity crisis before I realized that. Apart from him I have no goodness in my life. The Holy Spirit lives in me. I can't ignore that part of myself. It continually draws me back to Him or else I feel awful. Like physically ill when I spend to much time away from Him.

Friend # 35
Q: Why did you choose to follow Jesus?
A: I chose to follow him because I learned that I would never be fulfilled by the world and that I would never make it on my own. I tried to live life my way and be in control but every time I tried it was like my life was crashing down around me. It wasn’t an overnight change. I struggled and still struggle. I heard the gospel at such a young age that I took it for granted and because of that I had to find my faith in God. No one else could do it for me. I was always so difficult for me to believe that God would allow for such hardships to be in my life. I was always under the impression that those who followed Christ had perfect lives, but Ive learned since then that we cannot be Christians without a cross. 1 Peter 4:12, Romans 8:28, 1 James 1:2-3. God’s timing has to be different than out own to give us his best, even when we don’t what that is. We cannot be the hero of our own stories; God already has that role.
Q: Why do you continue to follow Him? What does it look like?
A:  I would say the first question I answered above.
The second one is harder. It's extremely difficult to live a Christ centered life in college. But I do a quiet time every morning and sometimes at night if I feel like I need it, i'm involved in college ministry, a small group and I go to church on Sunday mornings. I've been working to start a bible study in my sorority but so far people haven't shown up. It can be hard. It can be lonely, but it's always worth it.
It looks different than the lives of people who don't follow Christ. It doesn't involve partying every Wednesday, Thursday, Friday, and Saturday. It isn't hooking up with guys because that's what everyone else is doing. Its being different



~Romans 12: 1-2~